now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
