Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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