Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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