My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
