Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
