Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
