Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You need a sexual gate keeper
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Let's get the cat blown out
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
