Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
