Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
