This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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