we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
