I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
