im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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