I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
So vagazzling was a success
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
