Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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