from now on my penis is your penis
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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