Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
