so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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