Your face is a jimmy john
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
soo... how was my night?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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