I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
