I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
