He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
