those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
