yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In other news, I just burned my penis
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
