You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
