If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
