Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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