what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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