Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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