He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
