Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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