Grow some girl-balls and come out already
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
