Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
