i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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