She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Randomize
