i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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