His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
