I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
