did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
