Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
