my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am available for nakedness
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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