So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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