i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
