Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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