I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
