i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Randomize
