So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
