no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I've blown a few things in my day
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
