Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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