For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
