Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize