i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
