i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
