I wannas sexs uuuuu
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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