I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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