They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
