JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
