I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
the day after is always just damage control
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
