Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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