So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
