This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
