I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
i think im in europe. pls send help
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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